i can’t handle today. i feel too disgusting. i need to start doing my makeup but i feel like i’m going to burst into tears any second. why am i so fucking fat and greedy and weak?why doesn’t anything work anymore? i can’t stay trapped in this body. i just want to cry and sleep the rest of the day. but i have to go to disney and act happy and get my picture taken (kill me) for my cast member i.d. card. this was supposed to be a good day. but i ruined it. going go get lax on the way home and take a bunch to punish myself. i hope it fucking hurts.