February 2012
116 posts
stillllugly:
there are so many things i really dont care about, why arent calories on that list?
1 tag
so since i gave up on sleeping, i decided to go through my photobooth and delete all the junk. and i didn’t realize how like… personal? (not really the right word, but i’m drawing a blank) it would be. like just a lot of memories from when my life was so different. there’s pictures of me when i was happy. there’s a ton of pictures from when i got my nose pierced and i...
lalala not tired. i’m ok with that right now, but i know at 5:20 when my alarm is going off i’m going to be hating the world so intensely.
I wonder what I use to think about when my mind...
8687) It's so easy to just not eat. The hardest...
luuuuucyy:
Crying because I’m never going to lose this weight. Crying because I’m always going to eat too much. Crying because I’m going to the gym tomorrow. Crying because nothing else is working now.
i was going to go to yoga in a bit. but after i woke up i stepped on the scale, and now i don’t want to do anything but cry and sleep until i’m not fucking obese anymore. i hate myself so much.
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it’s kind of funny how much i enjoy grocery shopping. like i love seeing the variety and comparing all the labels and finding new safe foods. and i especially enjoy going to health/vegetarian/organic market type places. it’s like a special treat because they have all these really cool foods and i don’t get to go that often since they’re pretty expensive, but i got to go...
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last night i had a dream about eating and it was so vivid. and i woke up really anxious, thinking why did you eat that? you’re a fucking failure. and then i realized it was just a dream. it was just freaky, how real it seemed. how a dream about eating can be the worst nightmare. i’ve seen lots of people on here post about experiencing that, but i never have until last night. i hope it...
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endlessfragments:
When someone’s highest weight is like your lowest..
To do:
yoga and/or hooping every single day
practice french again. 3 hours a week at least.
read more
start putting a little effort into my clothes & make up
stop binging forever~
To buy:
new running shoes and socks!!!
business appropriate clothes
black swan dvd
leather and/or jean jacket
sunglasses
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it’s funny how this was supposed to be about having conrtol, doing something right, being the best at this one thing. and it’s turned into feeling more out of control than ever. i feel like more of a failure than i have in my entire life. all i think about it foods, weights, sizes, calories, numbers, days. how many calories am i having today? how many days til i reach that weight? how...
i feel like the only part of me that is shrinking...
fabulous.
Anonymous asked: you're not fat. it's all in your head. you're beautiful and tiny. please know that its all in your head <3
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4 pieces of pizza, 4 oreos, a bowl of cereal, 2 luna bars, a fiber one bar, a handful of cheezits.
just so you all know how much of a fat ass i am.
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i can’t handle today. i feel too disgusting. i need to start doing my makeup but i feel like i’m going to burst into tears any second. why am i so fucking fat and greedy and weak?why doesn’t anything work anymore? i can’t stay trapped in this body. i just want to cry and sleep the rest of the day. but i have to go to disney and act happy and get my picture taken (kill me)...
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i’m going to be fat forever.
fatfailure:
All I ever think about is my weight. How I can lose it faster. How I can get smaller as soon as possible. How I’m fat, disgusting, a failure. It just won’t leave me alone.
2 tags
i feel so worn out and tired. i would love to just...
but I already made plans to go out. boo. going to get an iced latte with an extra shot of espresso to keep me functioning, smoke the cigarette i’ve been dying for, and see the vow with a ‘friend’.
40892) I keep everyone at such a distance that no...
“I suppose it’s a comfort, perhaps a sense of self-control, doing worse damage to...”
– Chuck Palahniuk (via lovecrusader)
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going to watch skins and take a sleeping pill and hopefully sleep hard. i’ve been so ridiculously tired the past few days. tomorrow i’m going to yoga in the morning. and in the afternoon i’m going to pick up my friend and him and i are going to go hiking near the beach, hopefully at least 4 miles. i’m looking forward to being outside, with the fresh ocean air. i’m...
“I am nothing. I’m like someone who’s been thrown into the ocean at night,...”
– Haruki Murakami (via lavandula)